Saturday, 12 September 2020

HONESTY

wow!today in class we learnt about core values and i realized one of my core values is honesty let me tell you why: i did not realize honesty was a core value for me until i was 21.i got pregnant and by the grace of God met a friend through parents magazine who then became a divine connection becasue she had already gone through what i was going through at the time. i shared with her freely my journey once we bacame friends and she recognized that quality in me and i have held on to it to this day.it has been a guiding force in my relationships,friendships and the things i do.it has opened more doors for me than it has closed.i will say this: why am i telling this story? well because today in class,a lady shared how she got married at the age of 21 and hinesty was her virtue from the beginning.it guided her marriage and career life and sometimes it paid off and sometimes it didnt. what i can tell you is that her story stood to me.why?because i have this notion from so long and i have belived since i was young(like 20 years old)that getting married early is wrong and even the statistics say 'a person who gets married young never survives a marriage' and i have held to this belief till today.but maybe i am open to change because i am 29. i got pregnant at 21 and was in no way ready for a baby.she got married at 21 and she was in no way ready for marriage,little she know,or little did i know,.same age,different scenarios. her story inspired me to say the least because it remind me of my 21 old self and her beliefs about marriage. it stirred something in me to want to write this and articulate it on paper. i am an inspired 21 year old but i am a more inspired 29 year old gril,more confident. as a sign off this,i want to say thank you,thank for all those stories that have inspired us to be better. with love, jacque.

Sunday, 5 April 2020

NOTES TO YOU

There are days i wish i could change something about myself and this is no way to start a post but if there is something i want my blog to reflect is complete honesty as God leads me and i am learning to fully accept myself as i am and i hope you do too.
so on to some of the notes i have learnt on my journey
FORGIVE
I am still on this and if i am to be completely honest this is a struggle for me even now.i am currently on a series on forgiveness sent by a friend by John MacArthur and well...welp...its still a struggle for me especially when it comes to a close family member.
i am praying for grace to finally forgive.
SHORT PRAYER:
God cleanse my heart.
There is post i have seen from a friend's whats app status and i thought i share:
'we would never learn forgiveness if people never hurt us'
how true this is
we would never need to actually forgive since there would be no hurt,we would never see the need.God help us get some perspective on this.
i am on a journey towards forgiveness and my prayer is that we get there.
That is my prayer for you my dear reader and you too.much love to you.💜💜

Sunday, 17 March 2019

God's got this

Today was a struggle
Well during the day
And I am typing this out right now
To be honest it takes sheer courage to write this...the title and all
I am praying that God will meet me where I am
I am crying out to God
I do not want normal
I want more
My soul wants more
Somehow I ended up in different places today
And it could be my soul was searching profusely
The first place I ended up was a pizza inn place and I ended up ordering soda
Later in the day,I found myself in a fries place and I ended up ordering tea
After taking tea,I found myself craving for coffee
And somehow wished I was in a coffee house sipping my coffee and living my best life
But in all those thoughts
I was reminded that God's got this
God's got my situation
God's got the nanny I have
And I was reminded to rest
Just rest
Rest in Him
Rest in His power
And I immediately went home.
God's got this.

Please pray for me.

Jacqueline

Tuesday, 12 March 2019

Another precious call

I received another precious call today
And immediately after the call I felt uplifted
Before the call
I was overwhelmed
I had hit a wall
I was going into prayer
To ask God to help me
Help me to stop feeling this way
That way
But then came the call
And after the call
I could not help but pray
I could not help but thank God
For loving me
For caring about me
For honoring me
Have you ever felt that way?
Like you have hit a wall and you just need God?
I want to encourage you to lean in
God can surprise You in any way
It could be another precious call like mine or something else
I am so glad God came on time
And I pray He does the same for you too
And yes I am looking forward to more precious calls

Love
Jacqueline

Sunday, 10 March 2019

Loneliness

Dear God,
I do not want to be lonely
That was my prayer the whole of last week
I was lonely at work
I was lonely at home
I felt alone
And at some point I felt abandoned by people and God
It was hard
I wrote this prayer in my bedroom blackboard praying that God would hear me from the depths of my soul
It was a cry
It was a heart cry
And somehow I got through that week
My friend who I call a God-connection encouraged me to blog about it today
After receiving a precious call from her today
And honestly its hard
Its hard writing this
The distractions are many but God has graced me
What if I could not have gotten out of my lonely moment or snapped out of it
Considering I also happened to fall ill at the same time by getting a flu
What if the loneliness could have spiralled out of control and became depression?
What would I be now?
Maybe struggling with suicidal thoughts
Which to be honest I have struggled with in the past
But God brought me out
I do not know how
But He did
And one of the ways He used to bring me out of it is through my mom's birthday because we gathered together as a family and it felt good
One of my friends who had been sharing with my frustrations had not been responding to my WhatsApp messages
And she is expectant
I was trying my best to understand that she might be going through something herself but in that moment of thinking about all that I got an idea!
I call it a God idea to blog about my experience with loneliness and the current season I am but as fast as that thought came was as fast as it ended
Another voice told be no!no you cannot blog Jacque,you do not even have a laptop of your own and so many excuses ran through my head.
But that precious call changed everything and here I am blogging about it hoping to encourage someone
Another friend encouraged me to write and this may not necessarily be a note of encouragement, its a blog post of encouragement that God can use my imperfect words to encourage someone today,even if its just one person.

Disclaimer! I will not be advertising this blog post but I will be working on my Instagram to see if I can share the link there. I am praying that God will help me open up to share my story. Pray for me as I pray for you.

My prayer is that God's love will be strong enough to meet us where we are and it is.

God's got this

Jacqueline.

Thursday, 27 August 2015

The Runaway Bride

The title of this post seems obvious...except it's not...
At the end of the post you will be able to put all the pieces together and understand why I chose this title.
For now...let us start...
Jesus,
Recarp:my heart is breaking and I am crying out;WHERE ARE YOU?Can't You see me crying?
The Recarp I just wrote are words I wrote in my journal addressed to Jesus concerning a time this year that I doubted the goodness of God in my life.I was literally a sinking ship in this journey called salvation.
Our ship started sinking when I left the main ship and told Jesus things were not working out with Him...
It started with me feeling insecure about a lot of things,the first one being my physical appearance then how I dress,then my family...which led to me taking the first sip of alcohol...
The alcohol part is a confession and I am still a working progress...
Now to go back to the story...
Jesus,
Like a bride who has been left by her groom,I am looking for You...
This bride has been left at the altar...she can't find her groom...she is running around frantically in her white dress...crying and screaming:WHERE ARE YOU?
And here I am...crying and screaming:WHERE ARE YOU?WHY AM I GOING THROUGH ALL THIS?
I am trying to make sense of You...All the while trying to make sense of...
Why can't You make a way?

The answer:Jesus was standing right there waiting to hold me in His arms.my groom had not gone...He was right there but I could not see Him...because I was so busy focusing on my situation and what I was going through.

When I was writing the above words to jesus in my journal and in my prayer time...I thought He was the problem...how could a good God allow me to go through such pain?The kind of pain that had numbed my heart?I thought for good...

I was the runaway bride...Instead of running to my groom (jesus),i was running away from Him...I was literally running away from Him...

The fear in me made me run away from my family and any situation that presented itself as a threat...

This post is for someone who is going through unexplainable pain...A pain or a heartache that can't be put in words...rather it's perfectly put in tears...

To be honest...I don't know your pain but my sincere prayer for you reading this is that God may visit you,meet you and reach out to You because He is God!

Do not underestimate the times you have cried out to God for help...why?

Because,unlike how popular culture teaches us that tears are a sign of weakness,tears can also be prayers too.

Am out.
Be blessed.

Love,
Jacque.

Saturday, 20 June 2015

An apology letter to my husband:Truth without photoshop!

Whew!Finally!i am here writing this,this is going to take lots and lots of courage.

Dear husband,
First and foremost i want you to know that i have received you,the gift that is you.You are a beautiful gift from our father and i thank Him for that.It warms my heart to know that you are here and that you are the one God chose for me.
Secondly,i am sorry i have not been consistent in my quiet time with our sweet Jesus,i have not been sitting at His feet of late,i have been very ungrateful for my life and my portion.i am sorry i have not kept the covenant we made with our sovereign father.
Thirdly,i am thankful that Him,you and me are a team.i am thankful that He gave me you as my accountability partner and i appreciate you for that.i am also thankful for my sisters in Christ who have kept me accountable in this walk of salvation.
Fourthly,i am sorry again for not been consistent in my quiet time because i know one of your prayers for me is not to make you an idol.My prayer is that through the help of the holy spirit,i will keep my word just as our father keeps His.
i am also sorry i am not a reverential young woman according to titus2:2(NIV),i am really sorry for that.The holy spirit has been convicting of this sin,of this pride in my heart.
i definitely feel unworthy of our father's love but i will pick up the pieces and seek His face.
The issue of a lack of reverence in me has been heavy on my heart,my prayer is that the holy spirit may help me because He is the spirit of truth,He may help me in all things including being honest and never having to take advantage of anyone so that i could get my way.
i am sorry also for the selfishness in me,God is working in me concerning this.
i am sorry for all the times i have used means of manipulation and crying so that i could get my way.
Now to wrap this,you already know i have a child,you know angel and you know the many times i have shared with our father that i don't know how to be a parent.
i am thankful that you appreciate me,i am thankful to our father that you appreciate me as a mom,i am thankful that even though you see the many times i have failed in this area,you continue to cheer me on.
So for now i have to go and take our child to salon,i have to keep my word just as our father keeps His according to psalm 33:4(NIV).

 Psalm 33
Sing joyfully to the Lord, you righteous;
    it is fitting for the upright to praise him.
Praise the Lord with the harp;
    make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre.
Sing to him a new song;
    play skillfully, and shout for joy.
For the word of the Lord is right and true;
    he is faithful in all he does.

Amen to that word!
i pray you have accepted my apology.

Prayer for us(plus readers),
Heavenly father help us to look to You,help us to not feel the need to prove ourselves to anyone even those that surround us on a daily basis.We trust you to provide for all our needs.We trust that Your favor goes before us in Jesus name we pray and believe.Amen!

With much love,
Jacque.